Finishing payroll, dealing with employees’ issues and complaints, managing recruitment amidst talent crunch: Aren’t those tasks stressful sometimes? Working in the HR department could be full of headache and demanding tasks from time to time. But no worries, you can always laugh in a joke. Jokes have been proven to lighten one’s day, mood, and possibly make your day better. Wait no more, here are 7 best HR jokes for you!
The story is originally created by B. Thomas, a recruitment consultant from UAE. Here goes the story.
One day, there was an HR manager called Sally. As she walked to her office, suddenly a big truck hit her and she was tragically killed in the accident. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter welcomed her.
St. Peter told her, “Before you got in, we have a little problem. I never see there is an HR manager made it this far so we are not really sure where to put you.”
“Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven,” said Sally.
St. Peter replied, “Sorry, but we have rules… So, you need to spend a day in heaven and a day in hell.”
“No problem,” exclaimed Sally.
So, St. Peter took her in Hell. Sally stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club, around her were many friends, past fellow executives. All are chattering and happy. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks. They talked about old times. “Good to be here with old friends,” thought Sally.
A day went by, now St. Peter walked Sally to heaven. There was a playing harp and singing around the heaven which was almost as enjoyable as her day in hell. There were foods and milk rivers too.
“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and a day in heaven. Now, it is time for you to choose,” said St. Peter.
“You know what, certainly I enjoy heaven but I have a better and good time in Hell. So, I choose hell,” Sally decided.
Accordingly, St Peter took her to hell and let her go in. But alas, the hell was not as beautiful as it was. It became a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth.
“What happened? There was a golf field and my friends were happy. Now, everyone looks sad and pressured,” wondered Sally.
St. Peter simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday, we were recruiting you, today you are staff. Enjoy.” Then St. Peter closed the door and left Sally alone in her new wasteland.
It was the second interview session between an HR manager and an engineer. They talked long and it was time to discuss salary.
The HR asked, “So, what is the starting salary you are looking for?”
“In the region of US$125,000 a year and depending on the benefits package,” replied the engineer.
HR manager thought a bit and inquires, “What would you say to a package of five-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 percent, plus a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?”
The engineer looked in amazed and said, “Wow, those are very nice. Are you kidding?”
The HR replied, “Yeah, but you started it.”
On a beautiful sunny day, all HR staff had a meeting and they planned to hire a lawyer for the company. They met and the interview began.
The first question the HR personnel asked is, “We worked with integrity and honesty is our best motto. Would you consider yourself as an honest lawyer?”
“Honest?” the lawyer responded. “Let me tell you how honest I am. My father sold everything he had to put me through law school. After my very first case, I paid him back full.”
“Great, very impressive,” the HR admitted. “What was the case?”
The attorney put his hands close together and said, “It was my father sued me for the money.”
One day an employee got difficulty with his project. He came to the supervisor and said, “Boss, We have a problem with the project.”
The supervisor who is currently busy typing a message stared at him and replied, “Don’t bring me problems. Bring me solutions.”
“Boss,” the employee replied. “If I had solutions, I would not bring you anything.”
When giving one-on-one feedback, an HR manager asked his employee, “Are you on drugs?”
The employee replied, “You and I both know that you don’t pay me enough to have a drug problem.”
Terry’s house isn’t too far from the workplace but she always came late to work. This time the HR couldn’t take it anymore. As he waited at the office door, the HR said, “Late again, Terry!”
Terry simply replied, “Yes, it makes the day at work seem shorter.”
A company was searching for a few candidates to fill in some positions in a company. The recruitment agency called the company and told the HR manager, “Sir, we found some candidates as per your requirements. How do you want their placements?”
The HR manager described his needs as, “Please put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room and close the door. Leave them alone and observe them from a hidden camera. Analyse these situations and it will be their placements.
Hope it does lighten your day. Which one is your favourite joke?